I wonder why I can't find Poisonberry yogurt --
It might have been a favorite of my uncle,

There must be a reason why he died at forty --
An ingrown toenail or infected carbuncle?

I've had the same problem with nonfat lard
And Kurdish cottage cheese without curds,

The sense of frustration knows no bounds --
It just can't be put into words,

My only fear is getting paranoia --
All my rationalizations are normal,

I believe that "The Shadow" sees the evil in men --
Black ties with mango pies aren't too formal,

They say I'm an idiotic, retarded savant
And eccentric to say the least,

I've been found unconscious in a local bakery --
Trying to get high by sniffing yeast.

by D. Edgar Murray 06/03/2000.