What was the movie where Kirk Douglas swayed
Back and forth on a device called "the bongo-board?"

Had I not seen it, I wouldn't have believed --
'Twas before computer-animation and Star Wars' sword,

I'll ne'er forget hearing from the man who wrestled with him --
He thought Kirk was in agony as he twisted him pretzel-like,

When he realized the truth, he knew an Academy Award
Would eventually fall to Douglas -- or maybe Mike.

                                           by D. Edgar Murray 04/09/2000.