Thomas Crapper, the genius of bathrooms,
Invented the siphon-type toilet,

His name, by dropping the "p-e-r"
Became synonymous with using it,

Those of us old enough to remember
May recall how cold in the winter

The outdoor facilities -- I shudder to say --
Would feel to a nighttime sprinter,

Many a user thanked Sears & Roebuck
For the pages that we would pore thru,

Our gratitude was also extended
For the ambiguous usage we knew,

We appreciated those opaque shelters
That were found 'way out in the sticks,

There were many of them, fortunately,
But I've never seen one made of bricks,

I know it sounds repetitious, but
In the world only one thing is colder,

It's something that all divorced men know --
An old ex-lover's shoulder.

by D. Edgar Murray 02/19/2000.