I'm the standard with which everyone is compared --
Second only to God himself,

Even He cringes when I raise my fist --
On a scale from one to ten I rank twelfth,

No one else can meet my personal standards --
It's really lonely at the top,

When it comes to being the crème de la crème,
I'm really the cream of the crop,

What's that noise? Did I hear someone whisper
When I call for utter silence?

Whatever I can't do better than you
Must be utterly useless nonsense,

Oops, I've dislocated my shoulder
Patting myself on the back,

If I'm different tomorrow than I am today
It'll be from the immodesty that I lack.

by D. Edgar Murray 05/22/2000.