THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM NEW JERSEY


You've heard of the lady from Pasadena --
Old, but well preserved and meaner

Than a junkyard dog -- the one I know makes me hyper-
Ventilate -- she drives a yellow Viper,

I first met her at the familiar light --
South Maple St. and Speedwell -- it might

Seem out of character for a baby boomer
To wait for the green with a senior varoom-er,

I've seen rail jobs, blown Jimmies and a Henry J. monstrosity,
The Batmobile with OnStar should attain such velocity,

Talk about a race with a scalded hound --
When the light turned green, I salivated from the sound,

I can't forget the taillights vanishing from my view --
The bumper sticker read, "Bush, Cheney and Colin Powell, too."

by D. Edgar Murray 08/03/2000.