THE ONE-ARMED PAPER HANGER


You've often seen my work -- maybe in a living room --
Or possibly above a kitchen table,

I hold the paper down -- with my foot, spread paste around
With my right hand -- do the best that I am able,

When the top is nearly dry, wipe perspiration from my eye,
Then I smooth it down with a special brush,

It might take me longer than some others you have known,
But I'm always careful that I never rush,

If I get any busier, I'll have to skip lunch --
Baloney sandwiches are loaded with cholesterol,

I hear the King is in the counting house, counting all his money --
Poor me, I play a court jester role,

I'd need a sextuple bypass if my arteries got blocked --
One would hope to live much longer than did Elvis,

I could play a grand piano with my one and only hand --
Sitting down, I guess I'd never move my pelvis,

To preserve the monarchy -- I'd sit atop the hierarchy --
Might replace the former "King of rock and roll,"

Then I'd call for my pipe and my fiddlers three
With a velvety voice like Nat (King) Cole.

by D. Edgar Murray 01/28/2000.